The Secret Side Effects of Having Sex

Photo belongs to ABC Family

We’ve heard it from health class (assuming you’re not from Arizona), we’ve heard it from our parents (maybe, possibly). We’ve probably used it as a great argument to throw back at said parents on occasion. Sex is completely natural. Though despite that comforting thought, it still can be a scary world out there. Lucky for us, ABC Family just made it even scarier. May I present to you:

The Secret Life of the American Teenager’s

Side Effects of Having Sex

Warnings

• Ask father before sex. Failure to do so could result in him dropping dead at any moment.
  

• Sex may cause a severe emotional reaction. Symptoms may include: moodiness, resentment, irrational behavior, random bouts of crying, guilt, failure to communicate. If an emotional reaction occurs, stop sex and seek a therapist right away.

• Do not have sex unless you want the entire student body to know about it.
  

• Sex may cause your partner to court you. If courting persists or becomes distressing, what the heck - give it a try.

• May impair your ability to enjoy sex.

• May cause your friends to blame you for their sex lives.

• Use care until you become familiar with human anatomy.

• Long term continuous sexual activity may increase risk of pregnancy.

The thing about Secret Life is it temporarily reduces your desire to ever have sex - again or for the first time. But you have to admit, it's entertaining.